Admit
by Lovestory81
Summary: With Fiona gone to the city, to visit her family, Stevie thinks this is her chance to admit her feelings to Alex.


_**I was enjoying reruns, until last week. Season 6 started then. Every time when I see the first episode it makes me so sad. Poor, poor Stevie! She was so happy to see Alex again! And then there 'she' is. "Fiona, my fiancée." Oooohhgg...yuk!...I still don't get it! Why? So, I was busy writing "What if"...But I had to finish this one first...And I thought, as we already have a lot of stories about this, one more won't hurt right? ;) But this time a little different, enjoy! **_

Stevie felt so bad, her heart was broken. She felt sick about it and so intensively sad. She had felt the opposite, very happy, earlier that day when Alex returned from the city. Finally he came back, so she could tell him about her feelings for him. But it felt like she got stabbed trough her heart, when he introduced his fiancée. Stevie and the girls were shocked! They didn't even know each other, how could they make such a big decision? For a moment Stevie thought she didn't knew Alex any more, this was not like him!

It wasn't even a month later when Fiona went to the city for a couple of days. Stevie was determined to do now what she'd wanted to do for a long time. She was planning to go to Killarney and confess the whole thing. It would explain a lot and clear the air between the two mates. It would save their friendship, she thought. That was her goal, nothing more. Her hopes for him feeling the same way were gone. He was in love with Fiona and about to marry her, not Stevie.

She thought about it as the day went by. There was lots of work to do and she had only one moment to see him. Right before diner there was some spare time and she knew he would be home. But she didn't had the guts to do it, she got scared and freaked out. What if this would mean the end of their friendship? She might lose him...On the other hand it already felt like she'd lost him. So there was nothing to lose..?

In the middle of the night, after hours of tossing and turning...She still couldn't get any sleep at all. Her thoughts were with him, the man she loved the most. She rubbed her eyes, got up and seated down at one side of the bed where she caressed Turbo for a while, who was lying there. She leaned forward, yawning and lost in thoughts. Suddenly she stood up and put her clothes on in a hurry. It sure wasn't time to get to work, so why the rush? Turbo stared at her for a moment and then put his head down again, kind of disappointed she was leaving.

She caressed him another time, saying. "No worries mate, I'll be back before you know it. You stay right there, ok? You be good Turbo, won't you?" Turbo made a sweet noise, she smiled and walked outside.

Darkness and stars filled the sky when she walked to her Ute. There were no doubts any more. This whole thing was ruining her life and she had to do something about it. She was determined to drive to Killarney.

When she got there she almost freaked out again. Her heartbeat quickened as she walked towards the house. How would she find a way in at this hour? She checked the back door. Her hand slowly tried to put the handle down. She was shocked to find out it wasn't locked, her hands were shaking. That wasn't like the Ryan family! Harry had al sorts of security thing around the house,there were camera's and maybe even an alarm...She got even more scared when she thought about it, what if she had forgotten to avoid a camera? But still, she had to do this. It was her plan and her goal and the fact that she was so done with all of this made her go for it.. To be completely honest might be a last opportunity to have some sort of normal friendship with Alex.

She held her breath when she walked the stairs, what if Harry woke up? Or even worse: Sandra. But luckily no one woke up, she safely made it till Alex his bedroom door. Slowly she put the handle down and when the door was open, she walked in. There was some moonlight shining through the curtains, she could see Alex lying peacefully sleeping.

After looking at him for a while she slowly she pronounced his name, feeling terrified. "Alex..." She walked around the bed, and sat down to sit down on the other -now empty- side of him. Somehow she got calmer when she observed him. After a few seconds she gently reached for his hand. Softly and with a sweet tone in her voice she said. "I didn't mean to scare you at this hour." She waited as she took a deep breath and caressed his hand with a few fingers. "Alex?"

He woke up and immediately thought it had to be Fiona who was with him, coming home early. But when he smelled her pleasant scent, he knew it was Stevie. He jumped up and there they sat, looking in each others eyes in the middle of the night.

Although he was surprised he didn't even asked her how she got in or anything like that. "Stevie?" He looked at her as it got quiet again. "What time is it?"

She looked around to see if she could find an alarm clock. "It's late. I'm sorry."

He shook his head and rubbed his eyes. After he totally woke up he looked at her again and smiled. "So, aren't you gonna tell me what the hell you're doing here in the middle of the night?" He was surprised, but not mad about her showing up like that. He added. "It's definitely to late for a beer."

Stevie got very quiet for a moment. What was she doing? Suddenly she was less sure of her plan and there wasn't a plan B.

When she kept quiet he smiled again, his eyes told her not to worry. "It sure must be important if it can't wait until tomorrow."

She took another deep breath. "You're right, it is important. I've got something to tell you and I should have done it a lot earlier."

Alex mused about what it could be she was about to tell him, he looked down at the blankets and stroke his messy hair.

"I'm in love with you Alex."

He immediately looked up again and stared in to her beautiful eyes. "What? You're what?"

"You heard me..." She looked down and sighed, a little relieved she'd finally told him. "For quit some time and I had to tell you Alex. I just can't pretend any more."

Alex was confused and felt affected by this explanation. Gently he touched her chin and lifted it, so she would look at him again. "For how long exactly?"

It got quiet for a moment, as she was thinking about it. He stared at her and examined her face, she once felt so close, but some thing's changed, a distance was growing between them. This might be the reason why, he thought.

Stevie answered. "Maybe since we kissed, but I'm not sure. Maybe I always had a crush on you."

Alex shook his head and smiled, reminiscing the good old rodeo-days. "Why did you never told me?"

Stevie didn't had any trouble explaining. "Because I found out a few months ago. I never really knew I had these feelings, or maybe I didn't want to see it. I wasn't like Tracey...or Claire."

He dryly responded. "No, that's right. You are more like...Stevie." He got hold of her hand and asked. "But you know now. What has changed? When did you found out you love me?"

She laughed. "I found out in a dream. You kissed me and said you love me."

He looked amazed. "I did?"

She felt disappointed to hear him say that, even though she didn't have any hopes for him feeling the same way as she did, this was hard to hear. "Yeah..And when we were kissing my alarm went off. That's when I found out about my feelings for you. Later that day I wanted to tell you, but you were gone to the city."

"And came back with Fiona. Now everything makes sense to me. God, you must hate her."

Stevie carefully smiled and sadly said. "I tried to call you...But you didn't answer the phone."

Alex sighed and looked serious. "I'm sorry Stevie, I threw the damn thing away. I was so fed up by everything. I had to be alone, no one bothering me. No Harry."

Stevie didn't respond to that, she knew how bad he felt about Harry, he was such a pain in the ass and he had hurt Alex so much. His plans to leave had nothing to do with Fiona in the first place.

Alex felt even more confused. "How do you know?"  
She pulled up one eyebrow. "What?"

"We always were very close Stevie, but what happened that made you felt sure about your feelings?"

Stevie looked a bit surprised by his interests. "Like I said, because of that dream."

"So you felt it because we kissed?" He said and she nodded right away. "But it wasn't the first time we kissed, so did you feel something back then?"

Stevie felt confused now and thought about that kiss, which was very special. They both felt a lot of things, but never admitted that to each other. "I think we both weren't ready for anything back then. I was crying in your arms about Kane."

"It was a very passionate kiss Stevie, I sure felt something back then, but you're right we weren't ready and afraid maybe."

They really had a very nice chat together. They forgot about all the tension and what happened lately, about the fights and even about Fiona...Stevie felt flattered to hear he felt something for her. At the same time it was sad too, because it confirmed she'd really missed her chance with him.

Suddenly he shocked her. "So...I guess you have to kiss me then." He tried to look serious.

Stevie couldn't look him in his eyes and nervously giggled. "No. I'm not. I'm not going to kiss you."

She took a deep breath, not trying to lose herself. "Alex?"

But although it seemed like a bad joke at first, he was looking very serious. "Come on, just one little kiss. Just to make sure."

Stevie looked mad. "What? So what about my feelings? I just have to put them aside? I can't just kiss you. Alex. You have to be kidding me!"

Alex laughed. "Ssshh, not that loud. I'm not kidding."

She tried to hide her smile, her voice got softer. "Well, you have to be. You can't be serious about this. Besides, I don't kiss engaged man." She folded her arms, they both laughed again.

There was some tension going on, but the whole situation was also very funny. Stevie never thought it would be like this.

He suddenly said, practically begging. "Just a little kiss, what if I feel something too?" It sure meant something to her, what if he did? It would chance everything.

He added. "Yeah, I mean...you're always special to me Stevie. I know I can be a player. And I love to teas you, but trust me on this one. I would never use you."

She understood he was being serious about this, which made her seriously think about it too. "Just a little kiss?" But as fast as she thought like that, something else went through her mind. "But what about Fiona?"

He assured her. "No one will know about this. I promise."

Stevie got angry and shook her head. "Our little secret, huh? Alex, what are you thinking? I already feel so bad about all this. This visit was suppose to make me feel better and I should be relieved I finally told you this. Now all you do is make it worse."

Alex gave her a sweet glance. "Just trust me, ok?"

She clearly looked at him, tears were burning in her eyes. "It was hard, I had a rough time dealing with it, but somehow I accepted it. You being with an other woman."

He got very moved by this, it forced him to think about how it must have been for her. He suddenly got aware of the fact that he'd hurt her.

"I'm sorry I hurt you." He whispered. "I never meant to hurt you and I hate it when you get hurt Stevie." Stevie didn't know what to say about that, she just nodded and smiled. He was so sweet.

After a silence she suddenly laughed, should she seriously consider kissing him? Maybe it was an opportunity, maybe she had to see it as a way to close this chapter., for good.

She asked, a little more serious about it too. "How long exactly is a little kiss to you?"

"Oh come on...We're acting like kids."

"We? I think **you** are. Tell me, how long."

Alex smiled, he was really enjoying himself and serious about it at the same time. No one knew his true feelings. No one knew and even Stevie couldn't figure him out right now.  
"About 5 seconds I guess."

She was shocked. "5 seconds?! That's one hell of a little kiss Alex."

This could take some time, he wanted it, she wanted it...But was it going to happen? And when?

He tried to say something about it again. "Less then 5 seconds isn't enough, because..."

Stevie decided not to think about it any more and placed a finger on his lips. "Ssshh. It's ok." She's had nothing to lose and no one would knew about this, just one kiss goodbye. She had to leave all this behind her. Alex suddenly got a lot warmer inside when he felt her lips touching his, a little unexpected. She slowly moved her hands on his cheeks and began to stroke his hair. He suddenly pulled back and looked at her, he had a scared look in his eyes. She was unsure of what to say, that was a lot shorter then 5 seconds, was all she could think of.

She blinked her eyes, to hold back the tears and emotionally whispered to him. "What about the 5 se..." But she wasn't allowed to finish her sentence. He gently got hold of her face and moved closer towards her. He quickly pressed his lips on to hers again. The kiss was very passionate and in just a few seconds he deepened the kiss. It was so full of love. Butterflies filled both of their stomach as they embraced each other. Their breathing got heavier and it felt like there was nothing in the whole world but them...

After a while Stevie broke of the kiss and looked at him. She knew it was much longer then 5 seconds. There was a silence, as both their minds were full of thoughts. She was very emotional and weak by his touch. She was so in love with him, those feelings she had to hide were now unable to ignore. He softly laid her down on the bed and stroked her hair while he lied beside her very closely. "I think I know what you mean Stevie."

She widely smiled and looked happy, but unsure at the same time. "Alex? Can you explain that?" He moved even closer and was almost on top of her. "You now how much I love you?"

Just the same words as in that dream.

The next day Alex called of the wedding and send a very angry Fiona back home. Off-course it wasn't an easy thing to do, but Alex couldn't deny his real feelings. He hadn't felt so good in years and finally he was able to loosen up a bit. He loved that afternoon lunch, when he could tell Harry the real reason why Fiona had left. Harry wasn't to happy about Stevie catching his sons heart. In his heart he was happy the 'gold digger' had left the building.

Next morning Stevie was fixing the windmill, she climbed all the way up.

"Oi cowgirl! You be careful hey?!"

She widely smiled when she saw Alex walking up to her. "Off-course I'll be careful, we got a long night ahead of us! Wouldn't wanna miss it!"

Alex winked at her. She didn't took long to fix it and came down, he picked her up before she touched the ground. She strangled her feet around him. They kissed each other very passionately. "I missed you..." She said and looked at him, she had a twinkling in her eyes.

"I missed you too Stevie. You're finished?"

"What's the hurry?"

"I just wanna make up some things. I thought about it last night. So, come on let's go."

Stevie shook her head and playfully pushed him, as they walked towards the house. "I can't just leave, there's a lot to do around here."

He put one arm around her and pulled her closer. "The girls said it was ok. The only thing you need to do is take a shower and put on something very sexy, which isn't hard, because you look gorgeous in everything."

They had a very romantic evening and night and many evenings and nights like that followed...

_*****THE END*****_

_**I would love it if you let me know what you think of it ;)**_


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